Satu bulan terakhir adalah bulan yang tak akan saya lupa seumur hidup, bulan yang mungkin sekilas terasa seperti bulan penuh cobaan, kecemasan, bimbang dan ketakutan. Semuanya mulai berubah saat saya mencoba untuk bersyukur atas semua masalah yang ada.

Dari duka cita, beban thesis, beban studi dan segala masalah pribadi yang membuat saya ingin teriak dan lari. Entah mengapa saya seperti ingat bahwa berpikir positif membuat saya tetap tegar, salah satunya dengan cara bersyukur.

Beberapa teman menanyakan kabar kepada saya, yang saya sukar menjawabnya, memang saya baik-baik saja meski butuh waktu untuk membuat saya tenang.

Dan inilah daftar ucapan syukur yang bisa saya buat

Saya bersyukur dapat pulang melihat ibunda tercinta di saat-saat terakhirnya

Saya bersyukur ia bisa berpulang dengan tenang dan damai, lepas dari segala penderitaan yang menyakitkan dia dan perasaan saya sekeluarga

Saya bersyukur bahwa segala permasalahan yang ada membuat saya bisa melihat sisi lain dari orang-orang di sekitar saya yang selama ini mereka sembunyikan

Saya bersyukur atas kepulangan saya yang terlambat karena akhirnya teman baik saya memberikan buku-buku yang sangat bagus untuk bahan thesis (terima kasih banyak Kris, maju terus untuk semuanya...!!!!)

Saya bersyukur akan teman yang memberikan dukungan terhadap saya

Saya bersyukur akan tetangga yang sangat baik dan mendukung saya sekeluarga, tanpa mereka saya sekeluarga akan sungguh repot dan meras sepi

Saya bersyukur saya masih punya keluarga besar yang mendukung saya sekeluarga karena banyak orang yang benar-benar hidup sebatang kara

Saya bersyukur bahwa saya tidak sendirian

Saya bersyukur saya bisa menjumpai kembali orang-orang yang saya cintai setelah sekian lama tidak bertemu

Saya bersyukur bisa menemukan judul dan bahan thesis yang selama ini saya sulit pikirkan  (terima kasih banyak untuk George, Erik dan Rachel untuk kiriman jurnalnya)

Saya bersyukur saya masih punya pengharapan dan tidak patah semangat di tengah segala pergumulan

Saya bersyukur akan sekolah yang baik yang masih bisa saya tempuh disaat banyak orang tidak bisa mendapatkannya

Sebenarnya daftar ini masih lebih panjang lagi tapi akan menjadi terlalu panjang untuk saya tulis.

Daftar diatas membuat saya ingat betapa beruntungnya saya dan betapa saya layak untuk bersyukur bahkan di tengah segala permasalahan saya.

Entah kenapa, kata-kata berikut mendadak jadi satu rhema di dalam hati, agar saya mengucap syukur untuk segala sesuatu.

I never forget the innocent look of some toddlers sitting before me in a class provided by a charity institution in a fishermen quarter of North Jakarta. They listened to me eagerly as I explained some lessons. If you notice their outfit and their neighborhood, gee you could find the differences

This experience leads me to be compassionate for them since those boys are truly trapped in a vicious cycle of poverty and desperation. What could you expect? This cycle would probably make them end up as a dropout, living a simple life that’s far from good education. Probably due to malnutrition problem, their intelligence might be under the average rate. I’m grateful for the chance given to me for teaching those kids, eventually it makes my eyes wide open to understand how fortunate I should be. It makes me realize about God’s blessing that belongs to me.

Thank God, though I have imperfect parents yet they pour me with good education, affection and many things necessary for my life
It has changed me deeply in the way I’m thankful in my life.

The similar story could probably be found when many people decided to be a volunteer in the tsunami aftermath in 2005, reach the victims of Yogya earthquake in 2006. I do believe this would be a life changing experience.


One day in a Sunday School class. Approaching a kid that seemed enjoying his drawing, I asked a simple question,” Who do you go with?”. He told me that he came with his sister since his mom was busy working at the market (I suppose that his mom was a trader). But his next response, after I questioned him about his dad, startled me (could I say it frightened me to death). His simple answer was,”Bapak sudah mati (my dad is dead)”. How come a four year old boy said it without any expression (in his face or in his sound)?

I might conclude he’s likely to think that he needed no father figure. In my shock, a friend whispered that his dad abandoned his family and severely abused his mom. Obviously, it was a vivid example of domestic violence.

Do we realize that even a man also needs the presence of his dad, not merely a small kid like him. It reminds me that no matter how imperfect my daddy is, he still gives me affection so that I could grow up. In this case, I’m also lucky
Later I realized that the absence of a father figure could lead someone to destruction or in many cases same-sex attraction between man and man.
It made me promise that one day I would be a loving father for my family.

A message from some friends seemed unbelievable, a friend of mine got stroke!!!! It’s seemingly impossible, he’s only 27 years old at that time. Being a best friend I had at the college, sometimes I made contact with him and met him when I come to his city.

I rushed to the hospital where he was treated, four days after the incident. He was there completely paralyzed and being totally unable to recognize me. It’s hard to stand by him and see him like that. Fortunately he’s already married and had a wonderful wife who’s willing to take care of him.

His wife talked to me about the reason behind his stroke and I also tried to discover the reason. It was due to his unhealthy lifestyle (remind yourself that doing exercise is necessary), his food (his appetite is usually about fatty food), and also his stress or life pressure (he took a night class to get another degree)
This incident made me think that I do need to live a healthy lifestyle all my life. It’s not a must but it’s a need.


It’s my belief that each one of us would have life changing experiences, anyone having near death experience would possess bigger appreciation about their life or someone having lost everything know what it means to toil and get back on his feet, or it could a person who received pardon after making a huge mistake. Speaking of love, Would you believe that someone not knowing what love really is could show love to the others? It’s obviously difficult, someone could love if s/he knows how it feels to be loved.

Many people were changed after receiving love be it from his spouse, lover, society, or even from divine love. It’s my conviction that changing someone’s misconduct would be appropriately done through shower of love. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a saint nor Mother Theresa.)

Above all those things mentioned above, the life changing experience with the biggest impact on me is when I realized that my Heavenly Father loves me. At the time I realized how God loves me, it changed the course of my life.

I remember the joy that comes, the need to be blessing for the other, the newfound peace following this divine love.

(I would tell you many things about other examples in my next posting. Thanks to a course by PPKS Shekinah)

PS : I wrote this a few weeks after the decease of my officemate, a 22 year old female after being diagnosed with malignant cancer. It’s another story that changed the way I think about my life.

taken from http://androsa.blogdrive.com

Love is in the air….!!!!!